Argh, hm, okay. Marisa had this problem before, and now I face it too. Clash and conflict in a house between parents and children is not a strange thing anymore for me, but the last few months it have been rare. Small conflicts still happen but a large-scale conflict like today is rare, if not none. Yet today, it happened again, ugh! And it's all my fault... X(

Call it lack of sensitivity, but that's what it's all about. My insensitivity has lead me to disputes between me and my parents, when they want me to do certain things, but they don't say it explicitly. Like today, when I was about to borrow my father's car, he said "the fuel is almost empty, it must be filled". I just answered, "okay then, I'll wait for bro to go home and I'll use my own car then..." but that's not what my father meant, he was asking me to refuel the car but I wasn't sensitive enough to understand that. So my father thought that I wasn't willing to refuel it, and he got heated up, and it ended in a conflict because I couldn't keep my temper down and my mouth shut :(

Well, it's my fault really. When I went home and talked with them to resolute the problem, I traced again what they said and what I said before. When I really thought deeply about it, actually it was clear that what my father wanted is clear. It was because I failed to "think before acting" that the problem surfaced. When I saw it again, I should have known that because he has let me use his car, it should be my responsibility to refuel it after I use it. Sigh... fortunately it's been cleared already... and everything is beginning to turn back to normal... although maybe it well need a few days for the relationship to return... argh... :(




••• Thursday, December 04, 2003 •••