The Jesus Generation. Who? Us. Why? Because we are chosen. For what? To declare and glorify HE who has called us from darkness into light so the world can see the goodness of our Father in Heaven. Stand still in amazement, my friend, read those words and the verse all over again and let it fill you. What do you see? We, the young generation is now what is called the Jesus Generation, called to stand and live for HIM. See for yourself that now the generation with the flame and passion for the LORD is the young generation. I am still 19, Ann and Marisa also 19, Jess is even still 18, and the others are ranging from 18-24. Yet we have received a calling and a "catching" from God like never the previous generation has ever experienced before. It's a SPECIAL RIGHT!

I had a hunger before, to make the youth of my church to be like the Hillsong Church's Youth, but that is so far and away. Sadly I've seen people who do not use their calling and their special right properly. Sometimes, they're just staying around, content with just staying "outside the gates of His palace". I was there too for I was from this same church, the "ever-satisfied" church, until I meet with friends from "inside the palace" who told me that "you too can come inside the palace and see the King up close if you want to". Then I set forth on my journey to go inside the palace and find the King. It is still far away, far ahead, but I'm going and going further there. I know one day I will finally meet HIM, and now the grace and works of HIS hands I have seen. I know I'm getting closer.

How about you my friend? Are you on the journey yet? Have you stood from your place outside the palace where you've been all these years and walked inside to find the King? Or are you still sitting down, content with those little things you seldomly get and not wanting for more? I will find the King, and if you have the same hunger, let's go with me. I am glad that even in my church, I found two persons with the same hunger, whom I call "fellow God-chasers", one of them are still 17 and yet to be baptized this December. Come with me my friend, let's seek the King together, see, He's welcoming us in from His throne... let us come to Him and abide with Him forever...

"Worship You, my Lord, until the very end...." -- United Live / Jesus, Lover Of My Soul

A little contemplation:
Many of the young generation today, when faced to death, they say, "GOD, I don't want to die, I'm not married yet!" (are you like this too? XD). But we, as the Jesus Generation, must have a different motto. If I were to die now I would say, "GOD, I don't want to come home yet, I haven't served you yet!". Let's make this our motto.

Try this: write the names of all people that you know and haven't been saved in a small piece of paper, and lit a candle beneath. Hold the piece of paper about 5 cm above the flame. This is exactly where those people are, the flames of hell are waiting beneath them, waiting to devour them soon. If you would share them the good news, they would be saved and exalted to Heaven, thus, lift the paper and take it away from the candle. But how if you don't share them the good news as soon as you can, and you die before you can bring them to salvation? Let go of the paper, and let it fall to the candle... that's exactly what will happen to them, burned eternally in hell, destroyed, destructed, hopeless. Which one will you choose? It's amazing that I got this message in the midst of a traffic jam when I was driving home from campus today. It is a message which I feel very urgent to share with all of you...


••• Saturday, November 22, 2003 •••
Imagine that this flame represent our flesh and its worldly desires. We know that it is wrong to follow our flesh, but as is the nature of a flame, it spreads everywhere and it consumes everything it comes to pass. It devours the whole of us and we are eaten by the flame of our sinful natures and habits.

Imagine that this water represents the Spirit and its fruits. We know that water is good for us for it can quench our thirst and give us a cool sensation if we plunge into it. This is what we know we want to have and where we know we would like to be. The Spirit can lift and freshen our entire being.

What if those two collide? Surely flame cannot coexist with water and water cannot coexist with flame. One will destroy the other. What is the outcome in your life? Does the Spirit prevail, or does the flesh devours you? Frankly I must say that in most of the time, I still let my flesh win, as in what happened today. Friends, it is not an easy journey I know. In Rome 6 it is said that as we die and live with Christ, so did our sins and our old self die with Christ and we are now resurrected into a new life, full of holiness in Christ. We are free from the bonds of sin and sin has no more power over us. This is TRUE, but somehow hard to do. It is said that you can simply RESIST the enemy to cast him away (James 4:7) but somehow we prefer to conceive our lust and so it brings sin (James 1:14-15). So what must we do then? Pray, ask for self-control, a spirit-controlled life full of holiness and purity.

The battle is still long, the journey is still far away. I still get down many times in the same place, for I know where my weakness is, yet I do not have the power to close it, as I am still struggling in my own. My weakness is in the lust of flesh, fornication, as written in the Scripture. Knowing my weakness yet powerless to cast it away is simply annoying. I am attacked there repeatedly and fell down almost half of the time. To wake up, and get beat down again, is twice more annoying. I must put my life's control not on myself but on the Spirit's guidance.


••• Saturday, November 22, 2003 •••
Friends, I have been heavily ill from this morning. A few days of being under the rain and cold weather, coupled with lack of rest, and especially yesterday where I came home at 9.30 pm, under a heavy rain, and then took a bath at 9.45... have finally taken its toll. Today, I was sick and I got a heavy cold from 9 in the morning, as there is a test 1 pm - 3 pm today, so I could only go home on 3 pm and I had to struggle to keep my strength for that 6 long hours. I don't know how much have came out from my nose, as I must go to the restroom every 5 minutes. I could hardly breathe and my head is heavy. Now I must take a rest and I ask God for His healing. Please pray for me too, my friends, I need it right now... I can hardly speak and breathe... I will take a good night rest now, and before that I will speak with Him first, asking for strength.


••• Tuesday, November 18, 2003 •••
"Huh? Second?", that's what your first response might be, noting that there's no First Holy Spirit Experience entry anywhere in this blog. Yes, no matter how hard you look, you will not find it, because it's simply not there. The first one is listed under a special protected mode entry in my old UJournal, only a few chosen people were allowed to see that one, because it's private, very private. The most I can tell you is that in my first seeking of the Spirit (read: "tongues"), I was rejected because my life was sinful and for God is holy then He cannot grant His goodness to those who are unholy. I then started fixing up my life, to where I am today.

Today, as yesterday I have received some kind of guidance to go to Vi's mom again, I went there at 1 p.m. Went to some talks until 4.30 p.m, was a little unconvinced, if you ask why I took that long. I asked for a sign that if He wanted me to stay there and ask Him, let the rain keep pouring... if until 4.30 the rain still pours then I will do it. And yes, the rain fell from 3 p.m to about 8 p.m so at about 4.45 p.m I decided to ask again for the Spirit to come into my heart to take control.

Result? This time He said He saw that I have tried to seek Him, and He is delighted with that, and He will give me what I desire. OK, I was glad to hear that, but... after an hour passed, nothing came. We prayed again and He said that I have things to take care of in my heart: lack of faith, unbelief, fear, doubt, anger, anguish, feel dissapointed, feel rejected, lies, etc. So until those have been cleared of, the Spirit can't come in. After I came home, the first thing I did was to clear up a dispute between me and three friends. Called the first one that has the biggest probability for a relationship rebuilding, and told her I apologize for everything I wronged her. She said it's ok, and while I saw that it was still far from a relationship rebuilding, that was a good start. I didn't dare to call the other two at 10 p.m, because the other two are more difficult and tend to easily get angry on me. I decide to wait until tomorrow and I will pray for a God-guided conversation so I will not let out any more harmful things come out from my mouth and I will be able to rebuild the broken relationship. It won't be easy...

Oh yeah, we also prayed for a soulmate for me *blushes* =^_^=. Aiyaa, I'm still 19 and I think it's better for me to focus on God first, but having a soulmate with the same flame and passion for God isn't bad, so we can build and help strengthen each other's faith and we can work a ministry together. Will it be "her"? Aw, she's still 17 by now so I think the path is still up and far ahead, so I better refocus my life again to serve the Lord's purposes...

note: for those of you who enjoy my new background song, it's called Retrospection from Suikoden II.


••• Monday, November 17, 2003 •••
Just went into a simple contemplation about how much I have changed in these three months. My transformation began back then on mid-August when I met Ann and Jessy, those two Psycho-Sisters, who really made an impact to me, especially Jessy. On our first chat, she already bombarded me with questions like have you been saved, how did you meet Christ, are you a new-born Christian and so on. I found that rather annoying actually, and I thought she went too far into chasing God (what I said was she needs to lower her passion a bit), and then she said it's not enough, she wanted more flames of passion [!]

That was strange at first, and I thought she was really really "into it too far" and I will never be able to be like her... but see where I am now? She no longer seems strange to me, as I'm standing in the same platform as she is. Then I met Vi for about a month or so, but the little time made such impact. Saw the Holy Spirit experience and for the first time really saw the proof of the Almighty and All-Knowing God. Still longing for a personal Holy Spirit experience in my life (now I still rely on others for that) but right now I have felt a great urge to win people's souls for Christ, that's a good sign, no? Then came Larry last month and he also made impacts in my life, with his values and teachings that changed a lot within me, especially the "think-act-feel" part which in turn reminded me about "WWJD". I admit that I haven't been able to do that... "feel-act-think" and "WWID" still rule the most part of my life, but I keep changing (unfortunately) at a slow pace. A lot of time is still needed for me.

I hope of a Holy Spirit Experience, but if not, then I will only ask to be used as a tool for His purpose, His glory, and I ask to be a soul harvester to bring others to salvation. What use is a Holy Spirit Experience if I cannot use that to bring a lot more people to Him? If without that I can still harvest souls for God, then I will move on....
(note: I found out that I'm more on the learning, teaching and witnessing role for Him, hmmm... interesting...)


••• Sunday, November 16, 2003 •••