Have you ever felt the daily providence from God? Today it was yet another experience for me regarding God's unlimited kindness and providence. Yesterday I got more tasks and more burden being added to my life. First, a Computer Network test was to ensue from 2-4 pm, and then I'll have to go to church to help out some recording and typing some lyrics for the projector display. It would be a heavy day...

...when it turned out to be heavier than expected. My test was postponed to 6-8 pm, and that would clash with my 7 pm schedule in the church. I went to the tutor and pleaded to be allowed to take the test earlier so I could go home before 7. But I was not allowed so I had to wait. During the 4-hours wait, I went into some discussion with some friends, talking about some test material that were confusing. I was lazy, so I didn't study the previous day, and I learned lots of things from the discussions. Then 6 pm came, and when the test problem sheet was given, the most problems that came out in the test was about the material that I discussed earlier. Whoa, had the lecturer let me take the test earlier, I would have failed. But God's providence let me work on the test very quickly and with good results, that I managed to finish it in 45 minutes (out of the 120 minutes given) and went to church.

Well, before the test I asked God, if He wants me to go to the church today, then I would ask for His help and guidance so I can finish the test quickly. He did so, and I knew then I would go to the church today. During my ride back home to take some stuff, the left lane of the highway was crowded, and the right lane was full of cars blazing with high speed. So I asked God if He would clear the right lane for a moment so I can change into that lane and drive faster. And He did, for a moment, the right lane behind me was clear, giving me enough chance to change lanes, and from there it's a straight ride to home with 90 kph speed, and I arrived 8 pm at the church and managed to finish my duties and tasks for today. If it wasn't God who intervened, it would have been impossible.




••• Saturday, December 06, 2003 •••
Wow... today I went with a friend from Singapore to buy some books on METANOIA. He bought me some books, entitled Hidup Bergaul Dengan Tuhan by Ev. Drg. Yusak Tjipto (for those who might be wondering, sorry, there's no English translation for that book AFAIK, and the closest translation I can give you for the title is "Living Close With God"...). I've read Book One and Two... Book Three is still waiting for me tomorrow, my friend said he will lend it to me as soon as I finished the first two. Whoa I got a lot from that book. Some I will share here today... and some I will share later the next days... For my Indonesian readers, I encourage you to buy these! Rp 75.000,- for 3 books is a bargain!

Behavior In His Presence
It was 6.55 am, and he was waiting to meet the LORD at 7 am as usual. As he waited, he sat in a chair and crossed his legs. Suddenly Jesus came and said, "Who do you think you're facing, lifting your legs like that?!". Whoa this is a shocking message for me, as I usually uh... read the Bible while sleeping in my bed... XD And I prayed without kneeling but just sitting in my bed taking a crossing legs meditation-like pose... Somehow I must take care of this, even if He looks inside our hearts and not our pose, a respectful behavior is still needed. As I will try to wake up 5 am in the morning starting from tomorrow to spend time with HIM, I must heed this carefully.

Two Watching Angels
When he moved to a remote island to begin his deployment as a doctor, it was six months before his wife and children could move there. During the six months, came a temptation, as a woman from Hongkong had a crush on him and one day tempted him by coming only wearing a very thin transparent dress and nothing underneath. But there was two figures standing with him wherever he went and at that time, he couldn't do anything, not because he had no lust, but because they were two angels sent by God to protect him during the six months. This is very awesome, God knew the weakness of His children, for this man (the same with me) it was lust. God provided His divine protection for him so he would not fall during his six months in loneliness without his family.

Letting God Work In ALL Things
There was a time when he was still a college student in a Dentist major, he couldn't follow the tests because out of 2000 students, only 150 a month is allowed to take a test, and the students that can take them is taken by lottery. His name never showed for 2 years. But there was a rule, if a student would take 12 tests at once, he can take them anytime. God told him to take 12 tests at once and He will guide him. But in the first day, as the first two tests were easy for him, he said to God, "Do not help me on these, let me work on my own". And God answered, "Because of your arrogance, you will fail!". He failed those two tests and repented, and God led him through the other 10 tests so he succeeded. Letting God work in all things is important, if you do not put everything to His hands, you will surely fail and fall. This was also a shock message, as I usually did the same. When it's exams and the given problems were hard, I fell praying to Him for guidance... but when the problems were easy, I forgot to pray and just worked on them without asking for any help from God. Are you like this too?

Well, that's just some pages that I took from the books, maybe just about 4-5 pages. Interested? Go buy them! =p


••• Thursday, December 04, 2003 •••

Conflict 101: Parents vs Child

Argh, hm, okay. Marisa had this problem before, and now I face it too. Clash and conflict in a house between parents and children is not a strange thing anymore for me, but the last few months it have been rare. Small conflicts still happen but a large-scale conflict like today is rare, if not none. Yet today, it happened again, ugh! And it's all my fault... X(

Call it lack of sensitivity, but that's what it's all about. My insensitivity has lead me to disputes between me and my parents, when they want me to do certain things, but they don't say it explicitly. Like today, when I was about to borrow my father's car, he said "the fuel is almost empty, it must be filled". I just answered, "okay then, I'll wait for bro to go home and I'll use my own car then..." but that's not what my father meant, he was asking me to refuel the car but I wasn't sensitive enough to understand that. So my father thought that I wasn't willing to refuel it, and he got heated up, and it ended in a conflict because I couldn't keep my temper down and my mouth shut :(

Well, it's my fault really. When I went home and talked with them to resolute the problem, I traced again what they said and what I said before. When I really thought deeply about it, actually it was clear that what my father wanted is clear. It was because I failed to "think before acting" that the problem surfaced. When I saw it again, I should have known that because he has let me use his car, it should be my responsibility to refuel it after I use it. Sigh... fortunately it's been cleared already... and everything is beginning to turn back to normal... although maybe it well need a few days for the relationship to return... argh... :(

I must learn again to be humble, to be sensitive and not to disappoint them again in the future...

••• Thursday, December 04, 2003 •••

Restoration and Revival

Well, alright, since my last post about those "tents" thing, a lot of things happened. I have fallen into the depths of that sin, and even after I realized my wrongs, the despair just led me to deeper self pity and in the end, more sin. I struggled to get out from there, and started my walk again to find the King, this time the path being more heavier than ever. But yet, coming back to Him brought me to restoration and revival.

I am reminded yet again of my promises. I asked Him before to be a soul winner (more exactly I said pneuma theristes = soul harvester). He gave me one soul to save, and one other to teach. Where are those two now? I haven't approached the lost one even until today, and I need to do that quickly as she's in illness and I don't want her to leave without knowing about her final destination. The other one, I have neglected her. She was hungry and craving to seek more from God and find Him, yet with the current church we're now she can't gain much, so she asked me for help, knowing that I have got more from this online community. I wonder how she's doing now..

Other than a restoration in terms of faith and mission/vision, the relationship with God is restored when I returned to Him. The walk with Him (Emmanuel) is once again felt, and His providence for me has been restored too, like what it used to be before, when during the mid-term exams He provided intelligence and wisdom for me to get good marks for those. Today, the same providence has been given. I got a perfect mark (100%) for my Computer Networking Practice Test and about 80% for my Discrete Mathematics Test (very confusing course). On my own strength, those results would have been impossible. Thanks, Jesus =)

So today I've found once again His amazing grace that will forgive all your trespassings and failings. Marisa has said that repentance brings revival (read here) and this is what I can say about its truth. For the next part that repentance will begin Soul Winning, I still have to fix myself and end my transgressions before I can do that.

For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward those who fear Him;
As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.
As a father pities his children, so the LORD pities those who fear Him.
For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust.

••• Wednesday, December 03, 2003 •••

The Blues Made The Reds Go Blue

Ahem, note first that apart from a Christian writer, I am also a football fan, especially the English Premier League. So this one is a football post, not a Christian post, so you might as well skip this one if you hate football (hey I can see some of you turning away from here already! :p). This post is to celebrate Chelsea's 1-0 winning over Manchester United yesterday! >=)

For years, I have been a Manchester United fan, but after what happened last season, I noticed that my loyalty is not on the club, but on David Beckham. As he have moved to Real Madrid I have sensed Manchester United losing their touch. Even with the new no.7 cool kid Cristiano Ronaldo, they won't be able to do much now that they have lost the world's best crosser. So I left United and seek a new club to support. Then Abramovich came to the scene and bought Chelsea... and with his loads of money bags that seems to be unlimited like Uncle Scrooge's, Chelsea become a strong team in this season, they're English's "Real Madrid".

They rushed and rushed forward and won victories by victories. Although they lost 1-2 to Arsenal early, but winning 1-0 against 2002/2003 Champions Manchester United has been proof enough that they've got class and they've got what it takes to win the Premiership. People can say that the win was because of Lampard's penalty, but if you look back at the match, if it wasn't Tim Howard who was in United's goal, Chelsea would have won 2-0 or 3-0... it isn't too much to say that Howard is the best keeper in the Prem right now. Frankly I like him too :p

Another reason why I like Chelsea is because... they got a blue jersey XD. But apart from that, Chelsea is a strong team and should not be looked upon with one eye. Go Chelsea, take the Premiership Crown this season!


••• Monday, December 01, 2003 •••

Uh oh... Aaaah!

Let's shout "AAAAH!" first before I begin my post. There. Ahem. Well, my procrastination have showed its bad results today. Failed those two tests yesterday horribly... those tests were open books, yet because of my lack of reading, those books were useless as I cannot find which equation I should use for this and which one for that... :( So yeah, for those two test, the most I will get are probably around 50%-60% grade. Well, I have to hit the gas more deeply then, as more tests are coming this week, and the week after that. And I have to finish a project, the deadline has been adjusted to December 9th, oh man... X(

On the other side, went shopping with Mee again yesterday, hehe. This time she got shoes (Rp 75.000), sandals (Rp 50.000), hair dryer (Rp 10.000), carrot peeler (Rp 5.000), and four bowls (Rp 5.000 each). Guess she must be a happy girl after yesterday, remember Mee, self-control... money-control... don't abuse the use of your credit card... XD Well, it was a fun day, shopping with girls is different than shopping with mothers maybe... I can't stand it to go shopping with my mom... very boring... but with Mee, she dragged me all over the place, from this floor, that floor, this floor again, so basically there was almost no time to be standing still in one place, heheheh :p

Well, can't go out again from Monday, with those tests and projects looming all over me, so maybe I'll have to wait until next month (January) to go out shopping again. Wonder where she'll drag me then... Pakuwon SuperMall? ;p


••• Sunday, November 30, 2003 •••