May it be an evening star
  Shines down upon you
  May it be when darkness falls
  Your heart will be true
  You walk a lonely road
  Oh! How far you are from home

  Mornie utulie (Darkness has come)
  Believe and you will find your way
  Mornie alantie (Darkness has fallen)
  A promise lives within you now

  May it be the shadow's call
  Will fly away
  May it be your journey on
  To light the day
  When the night is overcome
  You may rise to find the sun

  Mornie utulie (Darkness has come)
  Believe and you will find your way
  Mornie alantie (Darkness has fallen)
  A promise lives within you now
  A promise lives within you now

Enya - May It Be
A song I listen to when in trouble and depression


••• Saturday, November 08, 2003 •••
By the time you read the title of this post, maybe you all were going to say, "Hey, slow down mate! Stop chewing those books already!". Well yeah, I can't blame you, because I do read too fast, I woke up at 9.00 today and did some errands for my dad. Then I did my daily morning routines, with the newspaper and all, and then went to bath. Then I eat, and then at 11.00 I went to the bookstore to buy book 4-6, each was Rp. 32.000 (about four US Dollars). And ahem, yes people, I know, I know, I'm not going to read those three books tomorrow, I'm saving them for next week. When I checked the Remnant (book 10) was already in. But from book 7 they have started publishing each book in 2 parts. So there are two books for each serie, i.e. the Remnant part 1 and 2, and from what I see, in the US version the books they don't get separated in two different parts....

Ah it will mean more money (as each serie is split into two 300-pages books, now each one is sold for Rp 22.500 which means one serie is now Rp 45.000, compare that to the original Rp 32.000) and more time to complete the series, because the next time I can only buy book 7.1, 7.2, 8.1 and 8.2. Three books is already a lot, and now I must buy four (it's not funny to stop at 8.1 and wondering what will happen in 8.2 and the book is also supposed not to be read in 2 parts originally right?). But yes I know, that means I must refocus my life and do those jobs and assigments that has been given to me. OK then, I will have to start working on those long neglected projects, only got one month to finish it all. When it's all done I'll read all the time I want like crazy.

Personally I have become bored with my Informatics and I know I can do better in other parts. Today, Dad was so angry at a design company he hired to design an advertisement, because it's so bad and unorganized. Dad went to me and asked, go and let me see what you can make to advertise this shopping arcade. So I went, and as I have no scanner to scan the images necessary, I used my Nikon Digital Camera to snap the images and then put them into my design. After about two hours of designing, finally Dad give me an approved sign and he will use my design for the advertisement. So hey, go wait and look for the Jawa Pos newspaper in 8 November and seek my ad, the "OSO Kuta Beach" one with a blue background (my sign!). Hoho, my first design on a national newspaper. Wait for it and see, and please don't complain first okay ^^ Personally I prefer a cleaner design, clean, nice and all sorted, but dad wanted one best central image to be put in the center, large. So yeah, I have to overlap other texts and pictures all over the central image and yeah, for me it's not neat, not clean and all, but dad says it's good and he said "we don't have to follow the same rules right? try making a different kind of an ad". Well, customer is king, and my dad is more than a customer so I just followed what he wanted (actually at first I designed a clean neat version of the ad and showed it to him, and he wanted it changed with the best image filling the center).

Well, yeah, can't complain.... as long as it got posted on a national newspaper, heheheh.... *dreamy face* ($_$)
Maybe I've found my path of life, what I wanna be, what I am good at, and what I actually ENJOY doing..... ;)


••• Friday, November 07, 2003 •••
Done reading the second Book "Tribulation Force" and now is coming into page 100 of the third Book "Nicolae". Estimated that the 500-pages "Nicolae" (fewer than the 550+ pages "Left Behind" and "Tribulation Force") will be finished tomorrow, so I must prepare myself for more by buying the fourth book "Soul Harvest", fifth book "Apollyon" and sixth book "Assassins" soon, probably tomorrow. My sister have been shouting to me alot because I have neglected my studies after I read this book. Okay I know it's not good to neglect my studies, BUT I don't know, I feel so devoted and I feel I must do something now, and that is NOT studying. What use is 4 years at the Informatics Engineering? After I passed the half-mark I felt there's nothing for me to it. After I graduated I don't know if I can use that in my life and for HIM. I really don't know. I need an answer.

I thought I would be more useful in Journalism and Graphics Design. If you have read the Left Behind series, there are two persons there that influenced me. One was Rayford Steele, I am impressed by his calling to share wherever whenever he is able about Christ his Saviour, no matter how high the risk may be. The other was Buck Cameron, hey I love to write like him, and opening an Internet site to tell the world about Christ is my dream right now (although it is far as I know only a little about HTML and the likes of it). I still have to ask Him about this. But seeing websites like Tributess and Jesus Is Lord really makes me wish that someday I will be able to do the same and share my faith about the Lord. But right now, (heh) the first priority is to graduate.... in 2 years....

"Lord, help me to see Your plans, Your paths and Your ways for me. What do You want me to be for You?"


••• Wednesday, November 05, 2003 •••
Just finished reading this book. I bought Left Behind on Friday, then Tribulation Force and Nicolae on Saturday. At first I was so reluctant to buy the Indonesian version because the translation is... *ugh* Just imagine this scene for you who can speak Indonesian... (doh?)
Original : "Tribulation Force... I like that name", said Barnes.
Translated : "Pasukan di Masa Siksaan... Saya suka nama itu", kata Barnes.

I was really laughing when I read that. OK, Trib Force is cool, but Pasukan di Masa Siksaan (literally translated "army in tribulation times") is definitely not.... But yeah, I was lucky that I can still find those books, the first books of the series were rather hard to find... and mine was dirty and folded, but still it's better than nothing.

To think again, I made a good decision when I bought the Indonesian version. Had I bought English it would be harder for me to pass it to my friends and family because they are simply too lazy to read English (although it's better and cooler by far). Now as I moved to the second book, my brother has started to read the first. Maybe later I will ask my Mom and Dad to read too, to ensure that they won't be left behind. Maybe I will need to also buy that New Hope Village Church Videotape, hmm... wonder how much it costs. Now, the message I want to share is that "do you have someone that you think will be left behind when the Rapture comes? do not hesitate and do not wait longer, tell him/her about Christ and let them be saved.... do not let them be left behind..."

I also got a message from the God's Daily Promises Newsletter (courtesy of LeftBehind.com) for those of you and also my friends who want to find God and seek Him more... for me this is like He's speaking to me and telling me to seek Him... yet another answer Lord.... I thank Thee for Your Words.... Keep me seeking You....

This week's promise: If you seek God will you find him What does it mean to have intimacy with God? But they delight in doing everything the LORD wants; day and night they think about his law. --- Psalm 1:2 Spending time with God leads to intimacy.

••• Tuesday, November 04, 2003 •••
On Saturday, I shared my experience about finding God (thanks to Mee-a and Larry) on my Youth Group's sharing session. But as I shared I noticed that almost no one was listening and even the worship leaders were talking to each others (- -). I felt rather down but I continued talking... but soon enough, in the latter part of the sermon, the preacher commented my earlier share and asked "Do you want miracles to happen on your life?". Of course everyone said yes, but then he continued with "Do you want that if you need money, you pray, and money fell from the sky for you? Or when you need to phone someone urgently when you have no cellphone credits, you pray and suddenly it's connected? Or when you are sick and cannot move, you pray and suddenly you can jump out of bed? Well be careful of those teachings because it is not right." (I can hear you guys yelling and screaming... >_<)

Okay, I don't want to judge him because I am too still imperfect. He did continue later that the biggest miracle for a Christian is in the salvation and sacrifice of Christ. Well, that's true but still what's wrong in wanting to be closer to God to be able to really see Him with my own eyes and hear Him with my own ears? If that's a miracle for him, then I think he need to find God more, because it's not a miracle, a lot of people have experienced that (Mee-a, Chette, Venety, Marisa, etc). Even more yesterday Marisa was angry when she heard about this because those things the preacher said happened to her. When she had no money and she really needed it, her cell group leader gave her money. And she has also received blessings of healing on her life. So, think the preacher is not open minded? For a man of God he really must learn more about God and His powers!

But God did not stop there. To my surprise, after the youth group finished, one of my friends came to me and asked me how can she experience those things I said in my share? How can she also be real close to God and really be able to hear and see Him? (actually I haven't been able to see and hear Him directly too). I told her to do just what Larry and Mee told me to do when I asked them the same question. I thank the Lord for He has pulled yet another soul to draw close to Him, just as He pulled me close two months ago. From a share, which I thought was useless and unheard, He used it to touch a person's heart and bring her closer to Him, seeking Him more. Even though our Youth Group may see us as "radicals", I told her not to be afraid.... God is with us.


••• Monday, November 03, 2003 •••